02

05/30/2025

last night we had a very angry phone call. i was on coke the entire time, yet somehow i still managed to feel bad. as i do

you told me how much i fucked up the opportunities ive been given. i know i have. i know i fucking blew it.

i dont know if you should ever read these. at this point they're going to be a diary of me falling out of love with you. it hurts, almost worse than breaking up. feeling that part of me fade is scary. it is fading. i'm forcing it to. as much as i don't want to lose that part of myself, the you part of myself, it's unhealthy for me. i hold onto things with way too much feeling to keep holding on.

you were so angry with me, that phone call was the end, i think. i think this is goodbye. i'll keep writing these letters to you but i don't know if you'll ever see these

i don't know if ill ever love the same as you, nothing feels right. nothing feels right.

part of me wants to think you're atleast happy that i'll never love anyone the same