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s t a r t - 01/04/2025

i guess i made a website blog journal thingy. i had to do this like 4 different times with different layouts but that's ok. it's january 4th at 12:55am, i couldn't sleep so instead i'm doing this.

w h y ? - 01/03/2025

i started this as some attempt to grasp at the creativity i had as a teenager. well, i guess it worked. this is the longest i've spent creating something all at once in years. the past 3 years have felt like a broken neck. trying to change things for the new year is incredibly corny but this is the furthest i think i've gotten in a while.

i used to have projects . tons of them, all the time, like this. they would keep me up all night when i was a kid. i had this blacklight in my room and i'd only leave that on and some candles. the nights i'd spend awake doing nothing & everything were the only times i ever felt connected with myself. sort of how i do right now. the last few years have been a constant fight with time, trying to figure out what to do with myself because all i can stand to be is a constant pit of panic . ..........

but that's alright.

i guess i'm finally getting there. i just have to write. i have to write


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